I have had one of those moments.
Not a special moment, not a memorable moment. But a moment none the less.

I don't know about you. But the most awkward things happen at the most awkward moments.
I'm talking on the phone with one of the ladies on my course. She is one of these people whom it is very hard to get a word in.
We're discussing work and then I feel the ol' bowls start to grumble and churn.
Nuts, I'm gonna have the runs.
Needless to say I only just make it to the loo, with my hand over the receiver and the ladies still chatting away while my bums making one hell of a racket. Although I feel better now and she was none the wiser.

I know you probably didn't want to read that, but I'm an open and honest kind of guy. In any matter.
I believe if you can't be honest with people, what good can you be for them. If there are things we can't say. We'll never get anywhere. At least you know you could tell me virtually anything, I may not want to hear it. But I'll hear it, if it has to be said.

Today though was a day of rest for me. I should probably have done some work or maybe I'm pushing myself to hard.
I dunno, I had to have some time off from all this c**p. Which means that tomorrow is going to be a busy day for me.
I have 7 things to do for monday morning. HA HA!!! It's never going to happen! I'm doomed!!!

You leave the work alone. You look around. It's still there.

Urgh!

What do you make of this. I have never in my life heard of such a thing. Tree octopuses, have a look. Seriously.

That week flew by.
I'm two fifths through the course and things are just about fine!

I just wish I was back at a time that I didn't have to think about this course so much.
I've reached the stage that my brain is still going over things when I'm lying in bed. I have to make a conscious effort to clear my mind. I don't like it.

I enjoyed things when they were easy and I don't want to hear anything about "that's life", because that isn't.
Life is easy, life is simple. Human beings are hard. Almost impossible.

They create rules and regulations.
Where did these things come from?
Was it just a simple little thing at first. Somebody said to someone "you can't go that way, you'll get hurt."
Perhaps it stuck. Then everyone who went that way, said to the next "Don't go that way you'll get hurt."
Then a simple warning was built. Because it was there someone thought it would be fun to disobey and went past this "barrier". ( Is this barrier more likely to stop anyone from being hurt.
Are you sure. If that were so, shouldn't we have cracked it by now. )

Well this is seen by another, then a fence is put in place, then a guard and so on. Untill the present day. With rules and regulations. ( Regulations, regulate. To control the flow of something or to inhibit. Hmm...Heck there are even regulations for the regulations! Crazy ain't it. ) People to preside over this and that. Many levels of control and systems to control. A great tower of cards constructed from heck knows where. All imposing, imposed and imposed apon.
Leading to what great purpose?
To keep those at the top of it secure? Maybe, with promises of better things.
Ahh, the old carrot and string routine. "Look big juicy carrot, follow me Donkey. Yes thats good, walk this way....."
I wonder if this Donkey will wake up?

I'm sure if this Donkey would wake up from it's excepted tunnel vision, it would see a great many things for itself, within easy reach.
It's like its died within itself and has become stiff in it's behaviour, like rigour mortis. Unable to move from it's current form.

I'm sure you have seen those adverts on the t.v. with those poor bears locked up in captivity. Driven to madness, simply bouncing on the spot. A wound spring with no release.
It is bound and caged, thus preventing it from it's natural behaviour.
Don't rules and regulations have the same effect? Maybe.
But isn't being denied a place to go, like a prison or cage. A freedom to express what is natural within yourself. Locked up controlled, tempered, regulated.
A set of imposed rules whether physical or mental will have the same impact, wont they? Maybe...
All these laws to keep us in control. Caged ourselves.

The earth divided up into continents. Those divided up into countrys, then into states and countys, citys, towns, areas. To those who govern the countrys, those that govern the citys. Others who govern others. On and on it goes, spiralling all over the place. untill it works it's way down to the individual.
All focusing to a smaller part. Pointed inwards, almost oblivious to other things and ways of living. Caged in our own minds. Other consiousness, blindly ignored and shoved out of the way.

We move around and settle down irrespective of others. I'm not just talking about people, whether it's Aboriginals or American Indians.
But trees and animals. Fish, birds, wolves, bears. Even grass. We carve up the land build a swimming pool. Destroying the homes and lives of countless thousands of things whose lives depend on that very area. Worms, insects, birds, micro organisms. Does this strike you as strange to be so concerned about a worm?
No. How perverse. Who made you the decider on whats more important than anything else. I suppose, because it's decided, that whatever you think is more important, is.
Obviously your brain is sooo huge and complex compared to the worm, you have to be smarter and worthy to more rights to this planet. Golly, I'm such a fool! Let me ring up my boss Mr Dolphin and tell him all about it. Or perhaps one of his bosses the Whales.
I have always found that most animals will get out of my way if I walk at them. Even trees will fall and mountains will crumble for me.
Perhaps they are trying to tell us something?

Why do we see the world as something within our sphere. Aren't we within it's.

I'm much happier today.
Things aren't perfect with the course, but I'm feeling better.

I have to organise my folder. ( How many times do I keep saying these things. I seem to be forever, about to do something. ) I've also got to do my write up of my lesson I taught today. Our tutor was impressed overall.
The other two, whom I moaned about the other day, did very well. Very clear concise lesson structures. They had both done their work. It wasn't a shody job, in any degree.

I saw my one to one student. He's working now. I'll only be able to see him on a Thursday. Which still leaves me with a little problem. I'm only free one Thursday. Hmm...
Do I hope that I can meet him on that day or do I change to the other guy who was very interested in learning. who is free all the time? Which means I will have to do all the work again. Hmm...
I will have to sort these things out tomorrow. Always something...

Anyway, there was a very loutish bus conductor on my way to work this morning. But I was quite stuned, when he saw a japanese lady sitting on the side, he started to speak to her in japanese. Not that that in itself was amazing. He just did not look like he would know. You can't judge by looks alone.

But as for me. I'm hunky doree, yesiree bob.
Still can't wait for the end to these lessons, hope I can get the qualification.
There's still a lot to do.

Another day past. They are moving quite quickly for me I have to say.
Which is good as far as I'm concerned.

I still wonder if I'll get this qualification though. But I suppose no use in thinking about it. Just do the work and see what happens.
I hope for a speedy and resolute day.
I have still got to find my one to one student. If I can't, then I'll have to get another. Which means more work, that I should have already done!
Well gentle reader. I shall be off to my life and I'll leave you with yours.

Finished my lesson plan and materials. Fab!!!

Although I still feel like I haven't done something.......

2 do before I die

I said I'd mention this. So I'll mention it again. 'cause I feel like it.

Right. Got to get organised.

1/ can't find my one to one student. I might have to get another. Darn it!

2/ teaching plan for tomorrow.

3/ organise folder using info from purple booklet.

4/ fill out teaching materials book.

4.5/ do a lesson plan, detailing each part.

5/ I think that's it. Mmm, doesn't seem as much as what I thought. My head is spining though.

( Mums come in and is going off on one. Politics hmm, not something that interests me at all. Something about where all the money goes, taxes and what not. I have been thinking along these lines about prisons and things, locking things up. I touched on it before, in Plark. I feel something else cermenting itself in my head. But thats for a less crazy day......)

6/ organise lesson plan for tomorrow. NOW!!!

So goodbye.

Hey! It's a new Moon!!!

This means that a new phase begins or whatever. So time for me to shake off the old.

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GET AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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There I think thats better.

Right I've got to go now. Also I don't care anymore how this stupid idiotic course turns out.
What about my plans. Well that isn't for me to worry about thats the future!!! I'm in the present so it's none of my concern!!! AH HAR HAR HARRRH AHRR HAARRR!!!!!!


DAMN IT ALL!!! DAMN IT!!!! AAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Also here's a scarily acurate Horoscope for me, from Jonothan.

"As I am sure you recall from your schooldays, homework doesn't do itself. Nor does it sometimes seem that you can do it until you first have read the paper, made a phone call, cleaned out a cupboard and generally prevaricated. The irony is, when you finally sit down to perform the dreaded chore, it's never as tough as you had anticipated. The New Moon insists that what must be done, must be done. It can't be put off any longer. And that's good, because once it is all actually done, you'll be glad that you did it."

Man homework. That describes my last week and this week to a dot.

I've finished transcribing two minutes of speech into phonemes. With a broken tape recorder that doesn't rewind and a play button that's broken. I have to lift the mechanism up from under the cassette. It makes my finger hurt. ow.
But that's the least of my troubles.

I'm getting really worried about this guy, who I'm relying on for life and limb as far as this course goes.
If he doesn't show, with the written goods, I'm doomed.
Quite literally up the creek without a paddle and an alligator chomping on my bits.
I spent just under a grand to do this and hopefully not to have it messed up by one heck of an inconsiderate person.
Urhh.....
I hate it all. GO AWAY!!!

Whatever happens, I'll be pleased to see the back of this course. SO VERY PLEASED!
I just need the written material, I can manage the rest. Even just a sample of his handwriting, I could probably forge the rest. Then ask one of my friends who can't speek English so well, to do the questions and I will forge the writing of the other fellow. I am that desperate. I'm also a good forge.
But I don't want it to come to that. SO PLEASE BE IN TOMORROW WITH THE WRITTEN MATERIAL!!! PLEASE!!!

Thats it I've had enough. Bed.

Well that was my first brief lesson and it was a bit of a shambles. But there we go.

I taught a little of the phonemic script. Which of course has no relation to how I'm spelling the words now.
Nor do the words I spell now, have any direct resemblance to the sounds we make.

The lesson went very quickly as well. If I smooth out the rough bits, I should be fine.
Although, after I was finished the two other people I was sharing the lesson with started to poke great holes in my performance. Not directly nasty, but they were only focusing on me. They said nothing about themselves.
I bit my lip and nodded silently, I have to work with these people until the end of the course. I don't want to rock the boat.
I'll save that for later. Oh, I'm sooo cruel.....

But it's done, I have more lessons to do, from now untill I decide not to teach any more.

Also I thought I had my folder organised, it isn't. It's a mess.
The things I put into the sections I did, based on the colours of the sections is all wrong. I have to empty the lot.
ARGH!!!

Now I can't wait for this to be over. I want to do the work, try my hardest. If I succed, good. If not not. Oh well.
So that makes this 6 training days gone. 18 to go. It does not feel like 5 weeks.
AHHH I DON'T CARE. I just want to get it over with.
The hardest part is waiting around.

I'm also worried about my one to one student. I hope he answers those questions I wrote for him. I can fake the rest if I need to. But the writing is another matter. I was supposed to meet him on monday, but as you've guessed he didn't show.
F**K!
Hmm.... we'll see how this pans out, wont we. I hate relying on other people!

Anyway, I have to organise and find out exactly what I need to do. Ohhh....... the ends a little to far away for me now......

Ohh. I found this via Xoloitzquintle.
I like the creepy crawlies. These pics are fabulous. I haven't seen them all yet either, there are loads.

PHEW!

This was an easy day, I'm pleased to say.

The cloud of DOOM that was hanging around my nether regions is mostly gone.
I will have to teach tomorrow. EEEEeeeee. It wont be that bad. I'm actually quite relaxed about it for the moment.

Also the other parts of my course I'm not to worried about.
The one where I have to meet my one to one student wont be quite so bad.
For the course I HAVE to meet him 3 times, once for the interview. Secondly for a one to one lesson and then another lesson. If I don't meet him, I fail the course.
But here in lies the secret to happiness. Even if he doesn't come, I can't fail. Why?
Nobody checks to see that you are interviewing him. I could make the whole thing up if I need to. No one would be any the wiser. *^^*
Also they can't check, there's about 12 different students all doing things at different times of the day and the teachers have other things to do. There always busy.
It reminds me when I did psychology A levels. We had to make a questionnaire, go out into the street and ask people from the public our stuff. But of course no one could possibly check up on us. So we went and had something to eat and filled in any old nonsense. Free time and we still got good grades. Ahh...

Well, I'm not going to get too happy, there is still a hell of a lot of things that need doing. But for tonight, I get to take it easy.

I want to pass this, it's important to my future well being. So I will do what needs to be done and the rest, thats up to fate.

Well, this is the longest possible time before the weekend.

Lots of things are in store for me this week. Especially teaching classes. Which I've never done before.
So I'm going to cruise along and not feel that I have to do everything. Chill, Plarky boy.

I'd better go and have some toast!

Fair the well...

My word that was a nose bleed and a half.

I was talking on the phone and I felt my nose start to run, then it dripped and I looked down and there was blood casually leaving my head. I had a little pool in my hand.

I'm thinking it's stress.
Probably right, I'm a guy caught between two parts of my personality at the moment.
I want to suceed, but I hate this kind of work.

Mmm, dilema.

Anyway, this part of my course work I can't fail. If it's bad they will give it back to me and say you have to change this and do that. I'm garaunteed a C. Whatever happens. So I'll relax a little. But I've still got to have something by tomorrow.

Also I have a sharp pain just under the jaw bone near my neck.
I'm thinking that's also stress related. I have one of those personalitys that everything gets to me. Woe!!!
I'm also very tired at the moment. Which is also that dreaded "s" word.

"sigh" I reackon I took the wrong turn before my birth, when I was just a spirit. Free I tells ya' Free! Thats what I was, then Ooh, whats that. I'll go over there and have a look. That blue green planet looks rather nice.
Wrong! Big mistake, it's covered in Humans! Ahhhhhh!!!

Anyway, I need a vacation. Away from it all.

Work is boring and pointless. There I said it.


Given book. Learn book. Regurgitate book / use book to answer questions for test. You get good marks and qualification. Forget book. Still have qualification.

So what I ask, is the point to all this. I'd rather not here justifications for this mindless nonsence.
If you can do it, you can do it. These things should be based on ability, not memory.

URGH!!!

Work is boring and pointless. I'd rather be having fun!